Volume Three: Connections of Life
Preface
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All men by divine fiat are
social creatures. What it means to be a human being is found only in the
expression of the interaction of at least two people. Although a person
has individuality, he has his identity only in the light of another
person. He actually comes to know and to understand himself as he see
himself reflected in the lives of other people.
As beholding himself in a mirror, he comes to know himself from what he
sees. The reflections that come back to him from the people with whom he
is interacting is the sole basis for his sense of identity. This fact
alone inseparably ties an individual to the need of others.
Like the musical note that stands alone, the melodious medley of life is
non-existence in the acts of an individual. For an individual to
experience the good life he must enter into a strain or series of
harmonious interaction with others sharing the same moment of time. The
individual makes music only when he is placed in relationships with
others.
Furthermore, changing the particular frequency of an individual musical
note standing alone matters little. Although the pitch of the note
changes, it still remains a musical note with only a higher or lower
sound. Changing the frequency of that musical note as it stands in
relation to other musical notes, however, can move the sound from harmony
to disharmony or from mere noise to the sound of music. It is the
relationship of the notes that makes the melodious music.
So it is in living life. It matters little if an individual standing alone
changes anything or everything about himself. As he moves in and out of
relationships, however, the essence of life is drastically altered. The
good life (or the bad life) is measured only by the interaction between
individuals.
Moreover, there are only three basic ways that an individual will attempt
to have relationships with others. The most basic interaction of man
towards another is one of pleasure. A relationship or friendship will
exist when the participants are receiving pleasure out of the interaction.
Obviously, this relationship is stable only as long as gratification is
being received by both individuals. If someone else comes along and this
new person is perceived to be more pleasurable, the relationship between
the original two becomes fragile. When pleasure is no longer being
experienced by either of the participants, this basic relationship will
end.
Relationships can also be friendships of utility. Two may enter into a
relationship because each person can be of use to the other. They both are
receiving some sort of satisfaction from the affiliation. The relationship
exists so that basic needs can be met.
The relationship of utility is also anemic. When one determines that the
other is no longer useful, the interaction becomes tedious. If someone
else is perceived to be of more use, the fervency of the original
relationship will also weaken. It will also end, if it is perceived that
the relationship has become valueless by one or both of the participants.
Finally, there is the relationship of love. Beyond the limits of personal
pleasure and personal usefulness, this interaction thrives upon making
sure the needs of others are not neglected. Since all that one has in life
has been given to him, these generously given gifts must be generously
shared. Love is always kind and longsuffering towards others.
Love never seeks its own. Restraints against personal gain are always
exercised when it comes to the scheme of experiencing life. The loving
person never puts himself first in the interaction of love, never claiming
his own share of things when it would deprive the needs of others. It is
the enhancement of others at one’s own expense.
Although all natural relationships are entered into so that the individual
can enhance his own self, the relationship of love exists solely for the
enhancement of others. It "beareth all things, believeth all things,
hopeth all things, endureth all things" (1 Cor. 13:7) in the
interaction between its participants. Love is the anchor of all long-term
relationships.
This pinnacle of the life of love has been lived by only one man in the
history of humanity. While there has been perhaps a few who have
approached manifesting near perfection of this high calling, there has
been only one person who has totally refused to use others for any
personal enhancement. There has been only one who has totally refused to
stand alone every moment of his life. Jesus of Nazareth, the incarnate Son
of God, is the only person who has not resisted being taken to the end of
himself for the needs of others.
This is not to say that every man cannot experience this noble essence of
life. Every man can . . . Learn how by
requesting "Connections of Life."
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