Personal Relationship Advice: The Love Encounter

PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP ADVICE:
THE LOVE ENCOUNTER

There are only three basic ways that an individual will attempt to have relationships with others (probably first recorded by Aristotle, 384-322 BC). The most basic interaction of man towards another is one of pleasure. A relationship or friendship will exist when the participants are receiving pleasure out of the interaction.

Obviously, this relationship is stable only as long as gratification is being received by both individuals. If someone else comes along and this new person is perceived to be more pleasurable, the relationship between the original two becomes fragile. When pleasure is no longer being experienced by either of the participants, this basic relationship will end.

Relationships can also be friendships of utility. Two may enter into a relationship because each person can be of use to the other. They both are receiving some sort of satisfaction from the affiliation. The relationship exists so that basic needs can be met.

The relationship of utility is also anemic. When one determines that the other is no longer useful, the interaction becomes tedious. If someone else is perceived to be of more use, the fervency of the original relationship will also weaken. It will also end, if it is perceived that the relationship has become valueless by one or both of the participants.

Finally, there is the relationship of love. Beyond the limits of personal pleasure and personal usefulness, this interaction thrives upon making sure the needs of others are not neglected. Since all that one has in life has been given to him, these generously given gifts must be generously shared. Love is always kind and longsuffering towards others.

Love never seeks its own. Restraints against personal gain are always exercised when it comes to the scheme of experiencing life. The loving person never puts himself first in the interaction of love, never claiming his own share of things when it would deprive the needs of others. It is the enhancement of others at one’s own expense.

Although all natural relationships are entered into so that the individual can enhance his own self, the relationship of love exists solely for the enhancement of others. It "beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things" (1 Cor. 13:7) in the interaction between its participants. Love is the anchor of all long-term relationships.