All men by divine fiat are social creatures.
What it means to be a human being is found only in the expression of the
interaction of at least two people. Although a person has individuality, he
has his identity only in the light of another person. He actually comes to
know and to understand himself as he see himself reflected in the lives of
other people.
As beholding himself in a mirror, he comes to know himself from what he
sees. The reflections that come back to him from the people with whom he is
interacting is the sole basis for his sense of identity. This fact alone
inseparable ties an individual to the need of others.
Like the musical note that stands alone, the melodious medley of life is
non-existence in the acts of an individual. For an individual to experience
the good life he must enter into a strain or series of harmonious
interaction with others sharing the same moment of time. The individual
makes music only when he is placed in relationships with others.
Furthermore, changing the particular frequency of an individual musical note
standing alone matters little. Although the pitch of the note changes, it
still remains a musical note with only a higher or lower sound. Changing the
frequency of that musical note as it stands in relation to other musical
notes, however, can move the sound from harmony to disharmony or from mere
noise to the sound of music. It is the relationship of the notes that makes
the melodious music.
So it is in living life. It matters little if an individual standing alone
changes anything or everything about himself. As he moves in and out of
relationships, however, the essence of life is drastically altered. The good
life (or the bad life) is measured only by the interaction between
individuals.
Moreover, there are only three basic ways that an individual will
attempt to have relationships with others. The most basic interaction of man
towards another is one of pleasure. A relationship or friendship will exist
when the participants are receiving pleasure out of the interaction.
Obviously, this relationship is stable only as long as gratification is
being received by both individuals. If someone else comes along and this new
person is perceived to be more pleasurable, the relationship between the
original two becomes fragile. When pleasure is no longer being experienced
by either of the participants, this basic relationship will end.
Relationships can also be friendships of utility. Two may enter into a
relationship because each person can be of use to the other. They both are
receiving some sort of satisfaction from the affiliation. The relationship
exists so that basic needs can be met.
The relationship of utility is also anemic. When one determines that the
other is no longer useful, the interaction becomes tedious. If someone else
is perceived to be of more use, the fervency of the original relationship
will also weaken. It will also end, if it is perceived that the relationship
has become valueless by one or both of the participants.
Finally, there is the relationship of love. Beyond the limits of personal
pleasure and personal usefulness, this interaction thrives upon making sure
the needs of others are not neglected. Since all that one has in life has
been given to him, these generously given gifts must be generously shared.
Love is always kind and longsuffering towards others.
Love never seeks its own. Restraints against personal gain are always
exercised when it comes to the scheme of experiencing life. The loving
person never puts himself first in the interaction of love, never claiming
his own share of things when it would deprive the needs of others. It is the
enhancement of others at one’s own expense.
Although all natural relationships are entered into so that the individual
can enhance his own self, the relationship of love exists solely for the
enhancement of others. It "beareth all things, believeth all things,
hopeth all things, endureth all things" (1 Cor. 13:7) in the
interaction between its participants. Love is the anchor of all long-term
relationships.
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